Dear Oyster-Adams Community:

This week, I was browsing through the books at our wonderful Book Fair when a little book, Children Learn what they Live by Dorothy Law Nolte, caught my eye.  I flipped through it knowing that as a parent, I can always use inspirational reminders to be the best role model for my own children.

Leafing through the pages helped me reflect on the power we hold as adults in our children's worlds-both at school and at home. I thought specifically about the wonderful role models the Oyster-Adams students have in our collective parent body. 

What might they learn from you?  They will learn about hard work and volunteering (look at all of the volunteers we have had to manage the book fair and to sell holiday trees), helping others (students are collecting books and DVDs for sick children), the power of community, passion for bilingualism and multiculturalism and strong advocacy for what you believe in.

Sadly, however, I also have to think of some of the more negative examples that some of our parents have modeled for our children this year.  Faculty, parents and students have witnessed parents yelling at security officers because they want to park in the turn-around at Oyster during morning drop off. I have been forwarded hurtful and insulting emails that were sent to teachers and staff. It pains me to say we've had parents yell at, insult, and humiliate a variety of personnel in phone conversations, conferences and in public meetings.

What might this teach our students? Is respecting others negotiable?  Are disagreements justifcation for yelling and insults?

The book highlights how our parenting styles, our communications and our actions all teach our students values.  The book has numerous examples, including the first which is "If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn."

All of us adults have the responsibility to live by the Oyster-Adams Community Actions:  Act with Integrity, Live Graciously, Lead by Example and Think Globally.  None of us is perfect.  As a staff, we have difficult conversations about where we may have shown poor judgement in our actions or in our communications, and we learn from these.  Our staff is even formally evaluated on their customer service and professionalism. Personally, I am humbled everyday by the enormous effort it takes to communicate effectively and efficiently with the school's stakeholders on the topics that are important to them.  I have been successful at times and other times I have failed.

I ask you to think about the enormous impact a hurtful email or a rude communication has on the teachers and staff in our community.  You have high expectations of us, as well you should, and everyone is working incredibly hard to meet our goals and to serve our students best.  Our teachers and staff -especailly the new ones- need and deserve your support to grow and learn from experience. It is in all of our interests that they want to make Oyster-Adams their long-term professional home.

We all have had moments where we are not proud of our demeanor and where our passion may have taken over our ability to "Live Graciously." Here are some ways to avoid the pitfalls of disrespectful communication:

1)       If you have a concern with something at school or in the classroom, approach the teacher or staff member with the intent to clarify and do not make accusations or assumptions without getting the other perspective first.

2)       Email is dangerous and often misinterpreted.  While convenient, we are now a society that relies on quick emails that communicate our current emotion.  They are often less thoughtful and don't allow for the reading of body language or facial expressions. If it's a delicate matter, please ask for a meeting.

3)       Finally,  if you're thinking that you may have been less than gracious at some point this year, apologies are always welcome and help build stronger relationships moving forward.

Thank you for working together to create a safe and caring learning environment for everyone-children and adults alike.

Enjoy the weekend with your family!

--Monica Liang Aguirre